Hi Everyone.It has been quite some time since the last blog. Months in fact, and as most of you already know, life has thrown us quite a few curve balls this year. It is my hope that this blog shares a little insight in to what has been happening in our lives, and to share the start of Gunnars journey as we have had so many new fans join us along the way these many months.
More dogs, and service dogs were certainly never in my plans...however, one of my best friends wanted a husky and needed a service dog. We knew he was going to be in the hospital for sometime and thought that we would surprise him and get a head start and at 12 weeks old Gunnar came home. It was clear from the very beginning that he was born for this and that he is an incredibly special dog and he has certainly proven that time and time again.
Fast forward to today, and Gunnars daddy, a Marine, still remains in the hospital needing constant care for his traumatic brain injuries. Its been a long journey with him, one that has been filled with ups and downs. Originally, we had planned to keep Gunnar as a surprise for him, and for 6 whole months we managed to keep Gunnars existence unknown to his Marine, however, after one incredibly tough set back, we complied all of Gunnars photos into a 45 minute long video for him...and shared with him his puppys life. You see, from the very second Gunnar got off the plane, we began a photo documentary for his dad, and we have pictures of all his firsts...from first time on Boston ground, first car ride with us, first moments in the house, first food, first drink, first time going potty...yup everything!! He was overjoyed, but today, he is still struggling to get well in the hospital. We had expected him home before now, many times in fact and the build up and disappointment is mental and emotionally exhausting as you can imagine.
Many people have asked why we haven't just placed Gunnar with someone else, and train another dog for his Marine when he leaves this hospital. Aside from Gunnar being bought and trained for him, this Marine, has now watched Gunnar grow from the time he was 6 months old until now, knowing that this was his dog and Gunnar is one of the main reasons he fights to get well and to come home. Its important to know, that outside of some wishlist items from time to time for Gunnar on Amazon, he has been personally funded, not only in my time training him, but vet bills, preventative medications and everything in between.
When I began training him, we realized just how much education is needed in our communities to help not only other service dog teams, but for everyone, as service dogs are empowering more and more handlers with a multitude of challenges. We began his facebook page as a way to raise awareness and education as well as tasked him as the ambassador for our program. Along the way he has made some incredible friends, and most of all, you have all become a part of our lives. You have all joined us in the mission of Loving Veterans to Life, and together we are all making a difference.
Now for those of you that have been following us for a while, you may have noticed that the posts haven't been as often, and you may have notice that they don't contain near the amount of content that they used to. You see, for the last several months, I have been fighting a silent battle too...so silent in fact, that its only recently that I have begun to address it. Many of you know the mentally grueling year that we have had with the loss of a life long friend back in January, the challenges at our last apartment, the struggles with the landlord, you have some idea of the challenges we face with Gunnars daddy as we continue to ensure he has the best care and do all we can to get him home and you even know that I have issues with my foot.
I have struggled with chronic pain for years, and over the last 18 months it has become noticeably worse, specifically in the last 8 months. For those of you that don't struggle with severe chronic pain, the fatigue and exhaustion alone are debilitating...but it also begins to takes its toll on your mental health and it has. You've seen Gunnar at a number of doctors appointments and hospitals lately and much of that is to help me address the chronic pain, but last week, came the final straw...one that has been years in the making, one that we always knew, but never wanted to admit. Last week, at just 29 years old, the surgeon said out loud for the first time the words "you are permanently disabled". Its hard pill to swallow.
In the midst of the pain battle, in the midst of doing all I can for Gunnars daddy, in the midst of the mental health war, that I have finally realized can no longer be blamed on surroundings or life events, I now face this new battle...permanent disability.
Rest assured, I am tackling all of this in the true form that you all know....taking something negative and turning it into something positive. I have some great doctors in place that are all working together and with the recent xrays adding more insight into the cause of the pain, pain management is now able to better address the pain. In addition to all of that, I have spent the last week or so making some significant changes, establishing a routine that will allow for nothing but success.
Whats the point of sharing all of this?? Its been a rough few months, and I have not been doing near the amount that I want to be doing, or that I am used to being capable of. I have had to put plans and programs on hold which that in itself has been a challenge for me. I am used to setting goals and hitting them, however, as Gunnars dad once told me "you can't help anyone until you yourself are physical, mentally, emotionally and spiritually well"...and all 4 components are being addressed now, and well on their way to being back in balance. In the coming weeks, I will create a different blog to share this journey in the hopes that it might help someone else along they way.
By the way, as I know this can often be confusing. Whos mom, dad, daddy..how are the all connected? etc.
Mom and dad are not married and not dating. (Will) Dad is 21 years older than me and very much like an older brother... He is a great friend and we work together and we both have worked hard training the boys. Daddy is the Marine that Gunnar is going to. He has been a great friend of mine for many years now, long before he was injured in combat.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this, for following Gunnars journey and for allowing all of us it share it with you. Thank you in advance for also respecting my privacy and respecting that what I post online is all that I wish to share. So for those of you that I see in our travels in person, please refrain from asking too many questions, as making this public is not within my comfort zone. However, in reading all of the statistics lately, I felt it was too important not to speak up.
Until next time!!
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